


愛してる ； A Kagura-centric One-shot Collection

by myaaae



Category: Gintama
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Multi, One Shot Collection, Other, Platonic Relationships, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:48:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29060028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myaaae/pseuds/myaaae
Summary: 愛してる (aishiteru) - I love youA collection of one-shots starring Kagura.[ sporadic activity / updates ]
Relationships: Kagura & Okita Sougo, Kagura & Okita Sougo & Shimura Shinpachi, Kagura & Sakata Gintoki & Shimura Shinpachi, Kagura/Okita Sougo
Comments: 33
Kudos: 40





	1. about the work

**─ about the work**

  * as the title says, this is a collection of one or two-shots involving the gintama female protagonist, kagura. some are platonic, some may not be. please leave a comment or anything on this page to request.
  * simply state the pairing and what type of relationship they may have or what kind of story it may be. [ex. okikagu, platonic, fluff]
  * any kagura pairing will do. i do not mind writing whatever rare kagura pairings you have in mind. 
  * also please note i will not write any smut, and that this is my first time writing and using this platform. 
  * i accept criticism so please don't hesitate to give one! 




	2. can't see the end - seventeen / kagura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING : character death
> 
> if it were possible, of the two siblings, why did it have to be kagura who inherited what killed their mother?
> 
> loosely inspired by "the tale of princess kaguya", where kagura was based on.

Gintoki and Shinpachi wanted to believe that it was all a lie, the same old prank Kagura dared to pull off once more.

But Shinpachi couldn't go home that night. Not when his friend left her portion of dinner untouched. Not when he could hear her coughing out in the closet she called her room from the moment she was brought home in the middle of their job when she collapsed out of nowhere. It had been hours since that, and she only locked herself inside her room, ignoring Gintoki's rants of how they lost money since they had to back out from the job, and Shinpachi scolding her of faking another illness. It had been hours and only coughing could be heard, no snarky remarks from her like usual.

Shinpachi had called home, saying he's staying over. He sits on the couch closer to the closet, his posture so straight and proper that it seemed like he was a stranger in their own "home". He was attentive, waiting for Kagura to come out, watching Sadaharu occasionally put a paw on the door with a soft, sad whimper. 

Gintoki couldn't sleep that night. Not when the girl he lived with kept hacking inside her room. He felt like it was worse than a neighbor's dog who found it a good idea to bark all night long. He wanted to call her out like he usually does, and scold her for his inability to sleep. But he knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep at all if that sound suddenly dies down. He'd admit that he had been reluctant to bring her home during the afternoon when they were in the middle of a job request, so she had been exposed to too much sunlight since he thought she was just faking it. He even thought so until she wouldn't come out of her room for dinner. 

Gintoki exited his room after changing out of his room to his everyday clothing, surprised that Shinpachi was still there. They didn't share a word, only a knowing look. He sat on the other unoccupied couch. He couldn't even turn on the television to fill the deafening silence between them, but he was too afraid that he wouldn't hear if Kagura's coughing had stopped.

They weren't upset with her, at least not anymore. Not when she finally opened the door to her room, revealing her blood-covered hands and mouth, her upper pajama colored in a disgusting red, and her eyes red and puffy from all the crying she had done. Not when she was lying down on the hospital bed in the middle of the night, all kinds of machine and whatnots attached to her limbs. 

Not when Umibozu said through a call that it sounded awfully similar to her mother's illness. 

Shinpachi held onto one of Kagura's hands as he sat down beside her body that suddenly seemed to fragile. He gave it a light squeeze, and she tried her best to return the gesture, opening her eyes, as if fighting off the urge to sleep despite the medicine given to her.

"Pattsuan, why are you crying?" she asked weakly. She received no verbal response, he only shook his head as he looked down at his lap, holding onto her hand tighter as if he was grasping onto the last bit of her life, refusing to let go.

"I-I'm sorry, Kagura-chan," he managed to croak out, choking on his tears, letting his glasses get wet from tbe warm liquid spilling from his eyes.

"You should give me... five pack of sukonbu..." she whispered before she was slipped into unconsciousness. When she opened her eyes again, it was Soyo, this time, who had been holding her hand, beside her was Nobume.

"You're here, too? I must be dreaming, yes?" Soyo cries out while Nobume tried to comfort her, although it seemed like she, too, needed to be comforted. Kagura sees her eyes glistening, and she wonders since when did Nobume's eyes shine so beautifully, and she blacks out once more.

It was morning when she next opened her eyes and was greeted by her _anego_ 's puffy eyes, with Kondou beside her, consoling her as she greeted her good morning with a sad smile. It was surprising to see her without Shinpachi guarding her from Kondou. 

" _Anego_ , gori, you're here, too?" she felt she had said it before, yet she couldn't recall.

"We're here, too, China," she shifted her head to the other side, seeing the rest of Shinsengumi standing beside her bed. She almost couldn't recognize Hijikata with his lack of cigarette tucked in his lips, and she couldn't recognize Okita who looked at her with a sickening gentleness she had never seen from him.

"Am I getting arrested for being an illegal alien?" she said, trying to ease the atmosphere that she found familiar, it was the same air she grew up in, the same air she lived with. It was sad, and she disliked it.

"Yeah, you're making _Edo_ poor and starving for eating all the food," Hijikata joked, and she laughed lightly, almost soundless from how weak she was.

"And for breaking a promise to a police officer. That's a huge crime, you know," Okita went closer to her bed, eyeing at her fragile body, the same wave of discomfort and emotions from his sister's death crashing back into him.

"Who said I broke our promise? You still haven't defeated me, yes?" and just like that, she drifted to another sleep, feeling the same hand that held her when she fell off the cliff, grasping her hand tightly and left with hesitation.

When she woke up in the afternoon, it was time to eat. She had been too weak to even lift a finger so Tama had taken the initiative to feed her, Catherine complaining how Kagura was being a big baby and she might take her spot in the yorozuya.

It was a warm feeling to eat lunch with her family, although she noticed how it was still eerily quiet. Even Gintoki and Shinpachi were quiet. She wanted to make a remark like usual, she begged herself to say anything, but she only coughed out blood, and suddenly the atmosphere became heavier than before. She couldn't finish her meal, neither could they.

"Gin-chan, Shinpachi, I'm sorry..." she whispered when the three of them were left alone. She was lied back down on the bed which had memorized her figure. 

"That's right, you're faking it again, aren't you? So quit the act soon, kid, Sadaharu misses you, we miss you," Gintoki said before he and Shinpachi left the room so she could rest.

She felt drowsier than ever, so she slept, and like before, she slipped in and out of consciousness, greeted by different people each time, and each time she felt that she could no longer stay awake to listen to them. She could hardly remember who came to her side anymore.

Her eyelids weighed were heavier than ever. She heard footsteps and numerous chatters surrounding her that she felt like she had to wake up. Greeting her was a face she didn't expect to see.

"...Kamui? Papi?" her hand was held by her father, who tearfully looked at his daughter and her deteriorating state. 

"Your father's here, Kagura-chan, and he brought your idiot big brother with him," Umibozu said, allowing his voice to crack as he squeezed her hand tighter, kneeling closer to her, "I'm sorry I took so long to come back."

"It's okay, papi..." Kagura smiled slightly, a kind smile that the two Yato knew that resembled their deceased wife and mother, "you brought Kamui, and mami, too. I'm happy..."

Everyone in the room froze, hearing exactly what she said despite the softness of her voice. Kamui had the same smile he always had, though it was obvious that it was close to cracking.

"You must be seeing things, don't tell me you're still asleep?" no matter how badly he tried to get rid of every emotion he felt, he couldn't deny how much his heart ached at the sight of his little sister resembling their mother too much to his liking.

"Everyone's here, too..." she whispered, seeing that everyone had gathered around her bed, looking at her with sparkling eyes that she refused to mirror, "Gin-chan, I'm hungry... _Sukonbu_... and egg on rice. Can we have that?" 

"It's not like we have a choice," Gintoki smiled sadly at her, brushing away gently the stray hair covering her face. She could see the tears building up in his eyes, she tried to reach for his face to wipe it off, but she could only weakly lift it, not even close to his face. He caught her hand, and Shinpachi did, too.

"I wanna go home... Gin-chan, let's stop this, yes? I was faking it, I'm sorry, everyone..." there came a forced laughter fron the crowd as she said that. They wanted to believe that, but seeing her like this, they knew it wasn't true.

"We know, China," Okita remarked, his fists turning white at how he curled it tightly, refusing to let a single emotion slip out, "so get up already. You have to apologize to every single one of us." 

"I will, sadist," she took in a deep breath, facing her first family again, "I'm sorry, papi, and Kamui..."

"What are you apologizing for, idiot? I still have to beat you, little sister of mine," he didn't have the right words to say, he wanted to encourage her to fight off the illness that would take his precious sister away from him, but it was stuck in his throat, aching, scratching at him for being too much of a coward to tell it to her dying sister. Why did it have to be her? Why did their mother want to take away her precious daughter? Why now?

"Let's go home, Kagura-chan. Sadaharu's waiting for us at home," Shinpachi said, Otae beside him nodded in agreement, "I'll cook whatever you want, too, Kagura-chan," Otae said, wiping off the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes.

"That sounds nice... I'll just," Kagura paused, taking a deep breath, "play with Sho-chan for a while and visit mami. She's waiting for me, yes? Then I'll go home when I wake up..."

She looked out the window of her hospital room, smiling at the bright full moon that shone brightly for her. She found comfort in that light, and she felt all her burdens being washed away as she basked in the moonlight like she usually does at times when she misses her first family. She closed her eyes with a satisfied smile.

"Sleep well, little sister," Kamui let his guard down as he silently spills all the tears that he suppressed since he left his family, he dips his head down to plant a soft kiss on his sister's forehead, "good night."

The last thing she hears are the endearing names they had made for her; Leader, Kagura-chan, Queen of Kabuki-cho, China. She wondered why they all sounded so much in pain, why they were crying. Maybe, she shouldn't leave so soon? Maybe she shouldn't meet her mami and Sho-chan now─ah, mami is here. 

A single tear slips from Kagura's eyes. When her mami embraced her beloved daughter, mumbling out words of apology for letting her die, Kagura wondered why she was crying, and who she was crying for in the first place. 

She wonders when will Kamui and her papi come home to them to share a meal like they always did.


	3. someday i'll find my way home - c&t / kagura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes, the past memory of an empty house waiting for her makes her forget the present.

As a child when her worries were only her mami's health and when her brother would return, Kagura loved when it was pouring down, letting the cold rain freely shower her as her eyes would watch the gray sky. Her papi would often catch her admiring the dull sky that she liked so much, and scold her about catching a cold while covering her tiny body with his big umbrella. She'd hop onto puddles after puddles like the kid she was, and her papi would scoop her in his arms and carry his giggling child home.

When she and Umibozu gets home, her mami would scold them both, making it seem like for a moment she wasn't sick. Kouka would run a warm bath and she would bathe Kagura, and her papi would cry that he, too, want to be bathed by mami, and her mami would say that he won't even have a hard time to bathe since he doesn't have a hair to wash.

With days like that, they'd eat soup, or anything warm to fill them up. They'd chat and laugh about whatever adventures Umibozu was just on. Kagura doesn't remember the exact stories shared, but she only remembers how happy those days were.

When she grew up, with her mami now up in the heavens, she still didn't use her umbrella whenever it rained. Having the raindrops kiss her pale skin was the only feeling or sensation she could feel. When she heard small chatters from a deep voice akin to the one she was familiar with, she would whip her head with anticipation, only to be disappointed that it wasn't her bald papi, but some random stranger talking to his friend.

She no longer hops into the small, hollow pools on the ground like she used to as she walks home, stepping onto them with harsh steps, as if wrecking the pathetic image reflected onto them. A small grin forms her lips as she opens the door to their house, awaiting for the soft, yet firm scolding from her mami, and feel her gentle touch wipe her rain-drenched child with a towel. Her heart drops, and so does her smile upon the greeting of the silence inside the dark home, the bed lacking of the familiar form of the prettiest lady she knew. 

Kagura heaves out a lonely sigh, turning on the dim lights that perfectly matched her gloomy mood, along with the dark sky that she started to dislike. She spent her days alone, even if Umibozu came home as often as he could, there was still a hole in her heart that couldn't be filled, and yearned for the warmth that she had taken advantage of as a child.

Rainy days made her sentimental, even after she had gone to Earth.

Kagura bids farewell to her friends who had scurried off upon the sudden rain that went pouring just as she was about to win whatever they called the game they asked her to play with. She mumbles out a curse towards Ketsuno Ana for saying that it would be sunny all day.

She placed her opened umbrella above her head, hesitantly doing so in order to get more of the water press gently onto her skin. She sees the street lamps turning on, and only notices that it was already dark even before the rain came. Kagura walks to her new home without much expectations other than another cold, dark living room, and the lack of people greeting her. Shinpachi and Gintoki would probably still be in the job that they left her out on.

Her mind wanders off to how it felt like she was going back to her empty house her home planet, how there isn't any need for her to hurry home, so when she reaches the front door to the Yorozuya, she could already deduce that no one was home since it seemed dark inside, and there weren't any noise. She hesitates to open the door in fear, her heart aching with the same pain she felt years ago. She wonders if she should wait for them by the stairway, but it was particularly windy so she decides against it.

Kagura opens the door, looking down on the floor with a disheartened look.

"I'm home..." said her in a soft, almost inaudible voice, closing her umbrella and placing it aside while taking off her shoes. A gasp forced its way out of her mouth when she felt a soft, fuzzy fabric draped over her head.

"Welcome home, Kagura-chan," she looked up, dumbfounded, seeing Shinpachi's grin and Gintoki's small smile, Sadaharu behind them giving a bark, as if greeting her as he wagged his tail.

Shinpachi patted the towel to her head and her arms to absorb the cold liquid sticking to her skin as he lectures her about staying out late alone, while Gintoki says something about men should be careful for Kagura, not the other way around.

"Your bath is ready, so come quick or we'll eat all the _nabe_ ," Gintoki says as he picked his nose. Shinpachi throws him a disgusted look, knowing he'd hog the nabe with the dirty finger of his. Sadaharu looked at his owner's still dumbfounded look and licked her face, snapping her out of her daze.

"I'm home, yes?" she repeated, louder this time. A grin making the corner of her lips curve up, giving them a toothy grin as her heart swelled in joy, feeling the familiar warmth she has always longed for wrap her heart comfortably.


	4. dance dance - day6 / shinpachi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shinpachi's forced to babysit for the yato girl and the sadistic police officer who's always at each other's throat.

Often, it was just the Prince of Sadists and the Queen of Kabuki-cho, but after a fight that went too far, almost hurting a few civilians in the playground, damaging both Yorozuya Gin-chan and Shinsengumi's reputation, Shinpachi has been tasked to watch over them since then. 

Shinpachi, of course, was against it at first, but everyone was busy with their own thing. By "their own thing", it was pachinko for Gintoki, patrolling with Hijikata, God-knows-what-anpan-hell with Yamazaki, stalking Otae with Kondou, and so on, so they were left with Shinpachi to be the babysitter after they refused to believe that him "disgustingly obsessing over an idol", as Gintoki said, is an acceptable activity to be crossed out of the list of candidates. 

The first day was unbearable. He missed a meeting that he scheduled with the _Terakada Tsuu's Imperial Guards_ members because Kagura and Okita just had to cross paths that day when he was headed towards the meeting place. The voice he reserved for the fanclub meeting was used to cry out for them to stop and give it a rest just for today, scolding the both of them. He couldn't interfere, not with the intensity of their fight, so he could only shout and watch in horror, wishing that the two would listen to him just once like how his fanclub members does. 

The following days, he realized that their meetings weren't a chance. It was like a weird instinct they received from fighting each other so much that they randomly stop whatever they were doing and head to the playground, even if they didn't talk about it beforehand. Shinpachi's honestly surprised that they were connected that way.

He, still, of course, tried to stop them from going too far, but he halted when he saw how Kagura was smiling differently as she lands a hit on Okita after being evaded for so long, and Okita mirrored the same joy through the twinkle in his eyes as he manages to tick the Yato off with something he said.

Before he knew it, he was feeling ecstatic, as well. Seeing how both of them never seemed that happy whenever they were fighting someone else. He settled down on the bench for the first time, watching intently, even trying to guess along about who would win between the two with the other bystanders who seemed to be always an audience in their matches.

He was surprised at how Okita didn't hold the same bloodlust he was familiar with since fighting alongside each other, and at how Kagura doesn't even show him mercy, throwing a punch with all her might while keeping herself shaded by her umbrella. 

"Err, good work, you two?" Shinpachi awkwardly said, handing over each of them a water bottle he bought from the vending machine seconds before the two of them fell to the ground at the same time from exhaustion. Of course he rushed to Kagura first, making sure to shade her from the sun with the umbrella she dropped.

"Pattsuan, don't give that sadist water," Kagura managed to complain in-between pants, using what's left of her strength to crouch next to Shinpachi, taking the water bottle for her and emptied out its contents fast. As she was about to reach for Okita's bottle, it was already snatched away by him.

"Don't be stingy, you pig," he said, already seated on the ground, drinking the water, throwing a look at Kagura that seemed to be pissing the girl off. Shinpachi smiled softly, seeing that the two of them were covered in dusts and dirt, there were a few wounds here and there although there weren't any bleeding, thankfully. They seemed to have had fun, he thought. 

"I'll poke your eyes, sadist!" Kagura threatened, throwing the empty water bottle at Okita's face but he moved just in time to dodge the attack that became buried down the ground from how much force she put into it.

"That's dangerous, you could have hurt my face," he remarked, sounding surprised, though with a smirk that ticked her off further.

"G-give it a rest, you two! You're tired so just continue this tomorrow!" Shinpachi almost got carried away from looking at them with a pleased look like how a mother would look at her precious children. "Come on, let's go home, Kagura-chan."

He stands up, offering a hand at her to help her up. He noticed how her legs were shaking as she made an attempt to stand only to fall back down, and he realizes that she's probably too exhausted. He felt sorry for always walking ahead and not even checking up on her before just because he was upset that he missed another meeting.

He crouches back down, his back facing Kagura, "come on, I'll carry you home," he said, and she stared wide-eyed. It was her time to smirk and look at the police officer who was using his sheathed sword for support.

"You're no match for me, sadistic prince! I have someone to carry me!" she boasted with a laugh, circling her arms around Shinpachi's neck as if she was choking him as he hoisted her up, one arm securing her leg, the other holding up her umbrella.

"Doesn't that show that you're weak?" Shinpachi wished that Okita didn't have any remark to anything, fearing it would get Kagura riled up and thrash around. Thankfully, she only spat at him, "be careful of the glasses' vessel or you might choke it."

"Why does everyone think the glasses is me?!" Shinpachi cries, not liking that this never-ending discussion about the glasses being Shinpachi and him just a mere vessel has been brought out once more.

"What are talking about, plastic toy? Hurry and let's go home!" Kagura said, specifically to his glasses, which made him think of dropping her down out of irritation.

"Well, take care on your way back, Okita-san," Shinpachi sighed before bowing as a farewell, he felt Okita's hand pat his shoulder as soon as he straightened up, then saw him flicking Kagura's forehead, earning colorful words from her.

The Shinsengumi officer turns on his heel and waves goodbye at the two of them. He felt the umbrella being yanked away by the girl he was carrying, only one arm loosely placed around his neck as the other lifts the umbrella slightly so both of them would be blocked by the warm sunlight from the sinking sun. He shifts his head, looking at her who was pretending to sleep, her head dipped down onto his shoulder, making obvious fake "Zzz" sounds.

He laughed lightly, now holding both her legs as he headed towards Yorozuya, looking forward to watch them once more tomorrow, and making a mental note to bring a first aid kit with him. 


	5. can't see the end - svt 2 / okita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING : character death, okikagu (?)
> 
> the person whose comfort he had unconsciously craved through the hardships in his life were now the cause of his sorrow.
> 
> [ okita's perspective in the first "can't see the end" chapter ]

To him, the mixture of battle cries and screams of anguish, the clashing of swords, the air passing through them bringing the metallic scent of the blood spilled from corpses and almost mindless humans continuously fighting no matter their state─those were more pleasant. More pleasant than the fragile silence engulfing the dull-colored interiors of the building, a whiff of disinfectants travelling through the clean air, depressing atmosphere building up too much that it became harder to breathe. 

Like everyone else, he believed everything was a lie. Of all people, he should know, right? After all, he was the first to notice that she was faking it before, so it's all a lie, he was sure of it. The moment Hijikata had told him the news in the middle of the night in which he couldn't even sleep a wink for some reason, he rushed to the hospital, ready to foil another one of her childish pranks. So when he'd point his sword at her, she'd flinch and try to say that she's suddenly all better, right? But he doesn't attempt it, he doesn't get the chance to do so.

First, Shinpachi was there, crying his eyes out while holding her hand tightly into his, keeping his lips shut tight so he wouldn't wake the girl. Then as he was about to enter, he was forced to make way of princess Soyo and Nobume. When they left, Gintoki, Shinpachi, and Otae decided to sleep inside the room, as close as they could be to Kagura. The Shinsengumi and Otose were left outside of the room, conversing with other people who came to visit her, and Okita made sure to tell them that it was all fake, yet they still cried, anyway, having accepted the fact already no matter how convincing he tried to sound. 

It occured until morning, until the yorozuya aside from Kagura woke up, tidying up the room to make way for visitors. The two men went out to buy food, and Otae stayed inside, watching the kid she treated as her own sibling sleep peacefully, fearing that her chest might stop from its steady up and down motion. Kondou entered to offer comfort that she accepted. Hijikata followed after, then came the rest of the Shinsengumi members, and Okita entered last.

It's the first time he got a look at the Yato girl since getting to the hospital. He noticed how she became even paler, a tear slipping from the corner of her eye from the anguish she must have been feeling, her arms were all connected to some drips and machine that must have been causing her more pain.

It seemed worse than his sister's situation before.

He froze, immediately brushing off the thought of his sister's death. The reality was forcing itself inside of Okita's already aching heart and throbbing mind, desperate to be accepted. He stared at her, eyes widened.

He was going to lose her like how he lost his sister.

" _Anego_ , gori, you're here, too?" he almost couldn't hear her soft tone, but he snapped out of his thoughts at the voice that he almost couldn't pinpoint who the owner was.

"We're here, too, China," Okita said out of the blue, much to his surprise, the usual nonchalance in his voice unheard. He cursed himself for speaking without even thinking. His brown eyes met with her blue ones that was already loosing its usual childish sparkle, the one he was used to seeing whenever they faced each other.

Now that she was facing him, he felt his heart sink. She no longer looked as lively as she usually was, her eyelids fluttering open and close drowsily, as if anytime she would black out and drift into unconsciousness. Her mouth that used to open so wide whenever she spoke now barely made any obvious movements.

"Am I getting arrested for being an illegal alien?" she asked, an obvious attempt to lighten the mood. He kept his mouth shut, focusing only at her, desperately trying to change her current appearance in his mind to her natural exterior, to the healthy looking brat she was.

He snapped out yet again after hearing a quiet laugh from her. _Where did that loud, unlady-like laugh go?_

"...And for breaking a promise to a police officer. That's a huge crime, you know?" before he knew it, he had unconsciously come forward. He stared at her pitiful figure, now getting a closer look at her, his eyes fell onto her hand, wanting to reach out and hold it, yet he decided not to, thinking it might discomfort her.

And he was remembering his sister's last moments which brought him continuous sorrow.

"Who said I broke our promise? You still haven't defeated me, yes?" her voice grew smaller until it died down. She had fallen asleep once more. There was much more he wanted to say. How could she sleep on him like that? He lets out a soft scoff as he admired her serene smile for a while.

"Come on, China," he finally extended his arm, and held her hand carefully, as if afraid he might break her, "we rarely get to talk peacefully and you're sleeping on me?" he gives it another squeeze, wrapping his larger, warm hand onto her smaller, cold ones. He opened his mouth to say something, but soon closed it, losing all the words that be wanted to tell her.

"Let's go, Sougo," Hijikata said as he exited the room. Okita realized that he was the only one left with her, he never even noticed that the others have left.

 ~~He feared that if he let go, she would fall off the cliff~~.

"See you later, Kagura," he hesitated to let go, unwrapping his hands from hers as cautiously as he did when he held it for the first time.

He, too, left the room, and returned a few hours later to witness her last moments. 

He stood by the foot of the bed. He watched as her father cried onto her hand, as if silently pleading for some kind of miracle upon hearing her mention her mother. It didn't go unnoticed by Okita how the grief and sorrow were trying to force its way out of Kamui's smiling façade. 

He saw how Gintoki flinched when she called him with the usual nickname she referred him to. Kagura and Gintoki really were almost identical since they both were fighting off the urge to cry. He sees her two families hold either of her hands.

He clenched his fist. It felt too much of a goodbye, too much of an ending. It felt like they all knew, and that they've already accepted it, crying up until her last seconds. He felt like stabbing Hijikata─no, himself. He needed confirmation that this was just a horrible nightmare he needed to wake up from. His palm ached as he dug his fingernails onto it, yet he ignored this pain despite being the confirmation he needed. Okita still refused to accept it.

"...I'm sorry, everyone..." 

"We know, China," he said, trying to keep himself composed like the others, "so get up already. You have to apologize to every one of us." _Please_.

Yet he knew it really was the end. When Kamui's mask has crumbled, when she closed her eyes and never opened them again, when Gintoki closed his eyes that made a tear slide down to his cheeks, when the room was filled with more cries, when the machine resounded with a loud flat lining─it was the end, she really was gone. 

"China..." he called out softly, unclenching his fist. He stared in disbelief. He watched how many of her friends and family had gathered closer to the bed, pleading for her to return.

"Both of you were pretty even in your last moments..." he murmured, leaning on the wall behind him, closing his eyes as he, too, allows the warm liquid to escape from his eyes as he slid down on the ground, "I hope you get along with that China brat, _aniue_..." 

He sighed, as if exhausted.

The two important women he loved in his life were gone.


End file.
